Friday, October 5, 2012

INSTEAD OF ACME'S:THE COYOTE VS THE ROADRUNNER IT'S....

IT'S THE ROTTWEILERS VS THE CHIPMUNK

 Fall...the time of year when you always feel tired. Myself, I find everyone and everything very edgy,
Especially people. Take a look around the next time you're out and about. It's getting close to Christmas, so the Malls are starting to fill up with bitchy people. All starting early looking for the perfect gifts. Be sure to disregard the teenagers as .... believe me they are oblivious to you when they walk into you like you should move. Boy I'm not looking forward to Christmas Shopping, I hate Malls. Although I imagine if I had lots of money I'm sure my outlook would be different....loll.

I look out my window.....
The trees are becoming vibrant with colour just to drop to the ground. the wind always whistling it's sad song. That damn Chipmunk has been digging the shit out of my gardens...... look at my interlocking brick walkway....."It looks like it's walked away! That's the problem when you own the company..... you get all the animals, well I'll get Ron to set a trap tonight."
I pick up the broom...
"OK let's do this...."

I find Eagles seven bridges playing in my headphones as I try to summon any ump I have to get my ass in gear and moving..... I start singing along with the song as I clean. I'm bebopping around not paying attention.....Sweeping and singing, quite badly.... I must admit.
"WWHHOOOAAAAT THE..." MY BROOM JUST PUSHED BACK!!!!!
"SQUEEEEEEK!!!!!!" As a Chipmunk squealed at me as it ran back under my grandfather clock.
pause........
This is the point where I should let you know that I have have two puppies. Well... I guess you really couldn't call Keisha a puppy she's more like Big Momma. Considering she's Kaya's (my other puppy) Mom. I will say if you would have asked me three years ago about owning a Rotty. I would have told you to go F yourself you were crazy. I was dead against them ALL OF THEM!!!!! Never in a Million Years did I ever think that I'd be making baby noises at two of the biggest most perfectly scary Rottweilers you'll ever see and I trust them with my life!!!!
un pause....

The Puppies come tearing up the stairs like a herd of elephants. As usual when they get to the top of the stairs.... As usual Keisha turned left went went directly into the dining room through the living room to where I was. Kaya run around like she always did to the right. through the kitchen... the front hall and into the living room to where I was.
"GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"......."RRRR RRRRGGGGGGGGGGGR" Kaya and Keisha had now taken over the situation! It was their arch nemisis Alvin the Chipmunk!!!!
out of the two dogs they both have their attributes but Keisha is the Boss!!! She signals Kaya to stop Barking and growling to She signal for Kaya to follow her. Keisha quietly jobs up on the couch and lays in wait. While Kaya follows suit on the other couch. I'm sure in their eyes they were lions looking through the tall green grass just waiting to pounce on their victim.
"Honestly...... it's Acme Central at my house, like Bugs Bunny and The Road Runner Show Only the Kaya and Keisha Skow Huh Girls?" As I bent over to see if I could save poor Alvin's life....I banged at the bottom of the grandfather clock. " Boy I reallyh gotto duuuus........BIONG!!!! "grrrrrrRUFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!" .........BAAAMMMMMM!!!! "RRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEERRRSHHH........CRAACCCKKK!!!!!! RRRRUUUUFFFF RUF RUF RUF ruf ruf ru r........." CCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAsssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! the SOUND OF KEISHA POUNCING ON THE BACK OF THE HUGE CLOCK UP EIGHT FEET IN THE AIR AND PUSHES IT OVER TO GET AT THE CHIPMUNK!!!!!! SHE DIDN'T REALISE THAT SHE PUSHED IT RIGHT ON TOP OF ME!!!!!! TALK ABOUT KISSING MY OWN ASS!!!!" BOY I NEED A SHOWER, WHEW............KEISHA GET OFF THE DAMN CLOCK!!!!"
I needed you to completely understand the position that was was in.........although I was laughing my ass off the entire time that this was going on. I was literally kissing it....... remember... i was bent over .... the Chipmunk........".Boy this damn clocks heavy........ Are you ever going to be in trouble when my angermangement wears off YOU ....." "WOLF!!!!!" AND THEIR WERE OFF ALVIN HAD MADE FOR IT........... HE RAN UNDER THE DINING ROOM TABLE KAYA POUNCED" WOLF!!!" WHEN WHEN UNDER THE DINING CHAIRS RIGHT IN FRONT
OF THE HUTCH....THE HUTCH QUIVERED.... I COULD SEE IT GETTING READY TO FALL FORWARD ON THE THE TABLE....KEISHA JUMPS OFF OF THE CLOCK AND LUNGES AT ALVIN THE CHIPMUNK.......... ALVIN SHOOTS PAST KAYA AND ZAGS LEFT TO AVOID KEISHA'S TEETH. Alvin HAS LEFT THE BUILDING.......BUT NOT BEFORE CAUSING KEISHA TO SMASH INTO KAYA CAUSING BOTH OF THEM TO .............RRAAAAAMMMM!!!! MY!!! HUTCH!!! IT SMACK AGAINST THE WALL AND IT'S ALL OVER FROM THERE.........

!!......UUU...UUU..UHHHHH..MM..PPPPP..HH..H..HA"....."NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
cRASH I GET OUT FROM UNDER THE CLOCK.......... MUMBLING A BUNCH OF WORDS THAT WOULD GET ME KICKED OFF OF GOOGLE!@##@$$$#$#$#$%$%$2234R@#$$#% i GET UP AND TURN AROUND TO SEE THE MY PRIDE AND JOY!!!!..... MY DINING HUTCH WITH EVERYTHING THAT I TRULY CARED ABOUT ALL OF MY MOTHER'S CRYSTAL..... THE GOOD STUFF...............GONE.
"eeee-eee-ee-eeeeeee-e-eeeeee" "rrrrruuuuuRRRRUFFFFFWOLFFF!!! WOLF!!!!! wOLF!!!!!!"
THE DOGS RUN OUTSIDE TO IF THEY KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR THEM DIG THEIR OWN GRAVES!!!!
JUST KIDDING...... NO ANIMALS WERE HURT IN THE WRITING OF THIS STORY!!!!!
BONG BONG BONG
OVER!!!
As the clock let's me know it's also toast!

The Moral of the story especially if you own your own Animal Removal Company:
If you have a Chipmunk making a mess of your garden, porch, steps, walkways, driveways call us and get rid of it NOW before you LOOSE everything you care about later over stupidity and stubbornness!!!!! Don"t let you spouse tell you to let it go, get rid if it before you got to fix it!!!
Call us before your Chipmunk Problem Turns into a chipmunk Situation!!!!

CALL (226) 600-5597

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Saturday, September 29, 2012

CARDBOARD CUTOUTS DO MAKE GOOD FRIENDS:AUCKMED LIVES!!!!

CARDBOARD CUTOUTS DO MAKE GOOD FRIENDS:AUCKMED LIVES!!!!


"THat's IT!!!!!"Trista had had ENOUGH OF AUCKMED AND NED AND THAT DAMN SKUNK!!!!!! She picked up Auckmed. Soaked in beer from Ned, his toilet paper wrapping was quickly dissolving. Auckmed was dying...........poor Auckmed. A Single tear ran down Ned's face. He lifted his hat. Took off his glasses," shit, I juusst got (sniffle)sssome smoke in (sniffle)mmy eeye". Ned turned for a second and quickly wiped it away before anyone could see. "HEYYYYYYY"As he turned he saw Trista coming to the fire with Auckmed."WoOOOOW...STOP..... WAIT What Do YOU Think you're DOING? PUT AUCKMED DOWN RIGHT NOW.....I'M SERIOUUS DON'TT TTOUCHHH HIM HE'S INJURED HHHHEEEEE JJ-JJ-UST NEEDS TOOO RESSSTT!!!! THAT'S ALL....HE'S NOT GONE...... TRISTA WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU....WAIT!!!!!" Ned pleaded while he walked backwards in front of her. While she pressed forward glaring through Ned to Freeland and Gwenette's fire pit where Mike and Rianne, were all sitting. Katey and Fred, Colleen and Stone, Brandon and Nicole, Mick and Ron and I.
   At the fire pit we watched the whole scene unfold."What's goin on? Why is he yelling?" I asked. Fred whispers, " Ned's in shit cause the skunk sprayed the trailer so Trista's going to burn Auckmed. She's pissed!!!!"
 "She Won"t Throw It In The Fire.... She's Just Bluffing,"Mike reassures everyone.
 "Yes she is"I said.
"Mike, She's Gonna Do It!" Gwenette countered.
"Nah.. she's just going to care him, she won't do it!" Rianne Chimed on Mike's behalf.
"I Don't Knooowww Rianne, She really does have that thing..... I Think She'll Do It" Colleen Decides!
So with our lines drawn ......

While waiting to see what happens next....... I whispered to Katey, "Katey..." I whispered, "From now on related every conversation to a Penis.."
"WHAAT?" Katey exclaimed!!!
"Whatever happens next.... and forever more relate ever conversation to a penis. You'll laugh all day long."
Just then we caught the end of Fred's conversation" yeah and the hitch was 18" long and get you'll never get that sucker off!!!" He was talking about his truck.
but what we heard was " Yeah the Penis was 18" long and get you'll never suck that off!!!" We were howling. this continued for a bit no one could figure out why Katey a beautiful woman, awesome mother and wife but reserved or maybe a little shy. But then compared to me anyone looks shy, lol. why this woman was literally in tears laughing her as off.
so she told them while giggling away."Christine, (chuckle) told me to relate everything you guys say to a penis....... you gotta try it....... it really works!!!!" Everyone started laughing as they remember what Fred had said.
OK MAYBE it wasn't the best time for me to put that Joke out on the table.
  •  Make a note:When friends are fighting it isn't good to be laughing........ while we were talking about them previously. We weren't talking about them at the time of laughter. We were having a hilarious Penis discussion. that's kind of hard to explain to them when they're having such a serious moment....... oops!
Trista and Ned are now at the fire pit........

"FFFFFFRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLAAAAAANNNDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gwenette screamed!!!!
Freeland jumps up" WHATS WRONG?" YELLS "I Don't know what's going on tonight MAN PEOPLE ARE GETTING TO SERIOUS!" As he rounds the corner to see what the hell is going on.....  Mike, Fred and Ron hot on his heels to help!!!!
Gwenette Yells" STOP FREELAND........... THERE'S A SKUNK!!!!!!!"
Freeland STOPS DEAD IN HIS TRACKS!!!  Mike and Fred bounce into Freeland but Stop. Well  NO ONE GAVE RON THE STOP TEXT!!!!!!
While Ron was leaving the fire he turns to everyone and says, " Don't worry us MEN'LL TAKE CARE OF IT!!!" DOES THE FIST BANG IN THE CHEST  and turns around....
SMACK!!!!!
Barrels right into Fred.... Mike.....and Freeland sending them flying. like a bowling ball too pins!!!
STRIKE!!!!!!
   "Oh my GOD!!!!! FREELAND!!!!GWENETTE SCREAMS SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND EVER SO CALMLY WHISPERS "DON'T ....MOVE... "
EVERYONE STOPS AND LOOKS.  "Fred whispers well this won't end well."
Mike whispers back yeah I think we're pretty screwed!"
   Ron had barrelled Fred and Mike over who then sent Freeland flying right into the ass end off a skunk. He opened his eyes and turn just in time to get............
ALL YOU COULD HEAR WAS SSSSSSPPPPPPLLLLLLAAATT!!!!
Gwenette screams as the skunk runs under the very deck she is standing on. " YOU THINK YOU CAN SPRAY MY HUSBAND AND GET AWAY WITH IT?"
   Slam.... opens Nicole's window, "why do I smell skunk? What the hell are yhou guys doing over there, anyway?" Nicole, who had just turned 70. I will tell you she looks like a hot 50 and a super great lady. Living life travelllin around in her moter home she was getting ready to leave for Florida soon.
"The Skunk sprayed Freeland right in the face. Like, he was only a foot away. FREELAND?   R U OK? CAN YOU SEE?" Gwenette asked him, " Nicole, seriously it nailed him right square in the nose!" Gwenette exclaimed in disbelief of what had just happened.
With a very strong french accent that really only came out when she got excited or angry. Of which she was Both."RON......I'VE HAD ENOUGH...........YOU NEED TO GET RID OF THIS SKUNK NOW!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!" Nicole demanded!!
"That weekend it was Ned and that damn doll get my trailer stinking like a skunk!!!!!
I Get Thee Smell gone, and what?
This week it's this one over here is jumping up and down on the deck making it spray her own husband in face, oh my god.......oh your all nuts................................. i tell u NUTS!!!!!"
By now she'd gotten she shoes and coat on and come out to observe the damage! "
"Gwenette.......my dear for future reference when you have a skunk in you deck, around your deck or..........Anywhere near your deck...........YOU DON'T JUMP UP AND DOWN!!!!!!!..........AND YOU MOST CERTAINLY DON'T SCREAM!!!........ GOT IT!!!!!!" NICOLE EXCLAIMED IN A CLEARLY FAIR PISSED OFF VOICE as she broke out laughing.
   Freeland's eyes were just burning as he scrubbed down with a mixture of tomato juice, lemon and baking soda. Inside he could hear Ned and Trista still arguing about what had happened on one side, sex and penis talk at the fir pit and Ron setting a Live trap for the skunk. while Gwenette and Nicole and I bitched about the hoard funny smell that floated like a ghostly stink cloud around them.
Nicole says to Me "Boy Christine the skunk really got you eh?" I just laughed "Ooops I guess I got to spray down the area again........... damn skunk!" Nicole nodded back.
   Freeland comes out of the trailer, still wiping his face with his towel but smelling a hell of a lot better. Freeland being the best mannered most good natured new fie I've ever met let out a new fie holler "WHHHHHHOOooooOOOOWWWWWYYYYY DID THAT EVER STINK!... MMMMYYYY LLOORRRD I NEVEER SMELT NOTHIN LIKE THAT....I'LL TELL YOU!! gwenette followed with the drinks.  Purely relived that he was going to be OK.
   The second she stepped on the deck she started fuming all over again about the skunk "Make sure you put enough bait in the trap Ron. I want him GONE!!!"
"Don't worry Gwenette I'll catch it for you tonight.... don't you worry!!" Ron reassured her as he walked with them back to the fire.
   With skunk trap set and all smells vanquished everyone had replenished their drinks had their pees and had returned to the fire pit along with Ned and Trista who was still carrying Auckmed.
   "Trista put Auckmed DOWN...." NED PLEADS
"OK" POOF AUCKMED GOES UP  IN FLAMES.
NED FELL TO HIS KNEES "Why'D You Do It? What'd he ever do to you.........POOF AGAIN!!!
AND A PUFF OF GREEN SMOKE APPEARS FROM THE FIRE!
   Out of the Green Cloud of smoke, something was RISING!!!
Fred yells to me, " Christine those weren't your special cookies we ate earlier right?"
I shook my head as I answered," NOPE This Is Really Happening..... this is in no way my fault I'm sure!!!!
It was AUCKMED NED'S FRIENDSHIP FOR HIM WAS SO POWERFUL THAT IT RETURNED HIM FROM THE DEAD......
Just Kidding he was a mummy stupid he was already dead. When Trista put him into the fire it released him from his toilet paper bonds allowing him to finally go to rest.
Before he disappeared back into the smoke. Auckmed had these final parting words for Ned,
In the squeakiest..... high pitched .....very femine voice he ssayss
"I LOVE YOU too MAN!!!! You're The Only One That Gets Me too! I'm so glad we're Friends!!! Maybe we'll hookup again on the otherside, thanks Trista bye everyone!!!"
POOF HE WAS GONE AND SO WAS THE SKUNK!!!


   
 If you are having Skunk problems or other Animal Problems and Need Help Call 

CALL (226) 600-5597

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Thursday, September 27, 2012

Ned And Auckmed Grabbed Another Beer & Stumbled into the Trailer.




 It was 3:00am morning on a Foggy October Saturday Night. Ned And Auckmed stumbled into the trailer. "So Auckmed what kind of sandwich do you want?" Ned Asked as he opened the fridge door looking to see what goodies Trista had left them. "Ohhhhh we're gonna eat good tonight" Ned sings as he dances away from the fridge with arms full of plates of left over pork and beef, pickles, mustard, bread and onions. He dumps his finds onto the island still dancing does a John Travolta Saturday night fever move with a butt bump banging the fridge door closed. Making allot of UNINTENTIONAL noise. " Oh Shit!!! Auckmed quite making so much noise man your goin to wake up the Warden!!!!" Ned whispers as he tip toes over to the doorway motioning with his finger to his mouth for Auckmed to be quite signalling like in a army mission to stay low. Trying to see if the noise had woken Trista. A minute goes by and Ed turns and gives Auckmed the thumbs up signal. "I think we're in the clear Auckmed...phew that was close!" Whispers and goes back to quietly bogeying with Auckmed while they made their sandwiches. Auckmed need he was drunk when Ned came out with " I LOVE YOU MAN!!!! You're The Only One That Gets Me! I'm so glad we're Friends!!!"
"What The HECK is Going on Out There?" Causing Ned too stumble with the bun he was buttering almost dropping it, Sending his hip into the silverware drawer. Slamming it shut crashing all of the silverware to the back of the drawer." Ned! Come to bed! Who ARE you talking to?" Trista yelled from the bedroom!
"Don't worry Hun... I'm just making Auckmed and I a sandwich all I'll be in soon." Ned said ever so sweetly. Trista almost levitates into the kitchen to where Ned and Auckmed are. "What the Hell do you mean, you and Auckmed?" She says as she stands in front of them. Hands on her hips just glaring at them both.

OK pause...
Before I go any farther with this story, I'd like to give you a little insight into Ned and Trista. Ned was a strikingly tall handsome man, his kind and masculine features sporting Glasses and a Hat. He always has a racing hat with Jeff Gordon's number or Race Car on it. Ned loved Trista with all of his heart, but racing was a scary second. good thing Trista loved racing to. Which made them even more cool.
Ned and Trista loved and valued their family and friends. They were the hit of the park that they stayed at in the summer. Trista would get together with her girls Gwenette and Katey. they would plan fin events like Christmas in July, Halloween Parade and the High Society Event of the Summer the Redneck Games and Awards. On top of that her was a huge supporter of the Cancer Walks and Organizing Fundraisers to Raise Money to fight Breast Cancer. Ned always supported Trista with everything as he was just so proud of her and what she was doing.They are one of the best natured well adjusted families on the verge of perfection you could say.
Which is What she was it vision of. With beautiful (real) long Lushes Blonde Hair. She had a kick ass body to boot.With her Daughter in college Tasha following in the family beauty traits. Which drove Ned crazy sometimes, "It's hard having a knockout for a daughter, you know... " He confided to me one night while sitting at the fire. Of course he also proceeded to tell me his most famous line after a bunch of Carling which was, you got it: " I LOVE YOU MAN!!!! You're The Only One That Gets Me! I'm so glad we're Friends!!!"
and he put more wood on the fire. They also had a teenage Son Jackson. He was growing up the spitting image of his Dad.This was a big summer for him. Ned finally let him drive the boat on his own and this was his first year of high school.

Another sport that Ned loved was fishing. you would forever see him and Jackson fishing up and down the river in his boat or on the motorized raft he had made. It was really cool it had a pool slide on it. Ned would move the raft out into the middle of the river an the kids would use the slide.

OK unpause....
"What the Hell do you mean, you and Auckmed?" She says as she stands in front of them. Hands on her hips just glaring at them both. SHE had to get up in the morning a hell of allot earlier then he did. As she fumed at him, "AUCKMED? REALLY???? You're making a sandwich for Auckmed!!!!"
Trista grabbed Auckmed by the head picked him up and threw him out of the trailer!!! Ed Gasped" Oh My God What Did You do That For?....YOU HURT HIM...... TRISTA HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?" he Yelled!! AND HE SCRAMBLED OUT OF DOOR TO CHECK ON AUCKMED!
Trista followed him out the door.
"NED..... you are Kidding right?
YOU GET THAT AUCKMED IS A CARDBOARD CUTOUT!!!!!!!! HE'S A HALLOWEEN MUMMY THAT YOU WON AT MY FUNDRAISER AND NOW YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY GONE TO, FAR, NED!!!!!!!" She said in complete disbelief of this entire situation. As she finds Ned Coddling the Cardboard cutout he had named Auckmed, gently wiping a cobweb from "Auckmed's toilet paper covered face.
"THAT'S IT!!!! NED, YOU CAN SLEEP IN THE BUNKY TONIGHT WITH YOUR BUDDY AUCKMED. SEE IF HE KEEPS YOU WARM TONIGHT!!!!" she said growled and turned to go into the trailer.
"Fine then.... you know what? I love him man!!!! He's The Only One That Gets Me! he's much better company any!!! And I'm so glad we're Friends!!!" He says as he take Auckmed into the bunky.
Ned Cracks open a beer to share with Auckmed. Getting ready to get settled in for the night when..... Trista lets out a scream! causing Ned to spill his beer all over Auckmed. Being let 50% of him was made out of toilet paper this wasn't good!!!!!
He couldn't worry about that right now. Especially since he had just thought Auckmed up to screw with Trista. He comes out of the bunky to A WALL OF STINK!!!! It acutally took his breath away!!!! He sticks his head back in the bunky for a breath of fresh air. bed goes to where Trista is standing at the door sobbing and crying hunched over in her bathrobe gagging and pointing at the trailer doorway. which when she came out she forgot to shut!
"YOU LET A SKUNK GET INTO THE TRAILER? ARE YOU KIDDING ME A SKUNK JUST SPRAYED ALL OVER THE INSIDE OF OUR BRAND NEW 2013 $120000 GEOREOUS TRAILER!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ned exclaimed dumbfounded!!! That summer they had finally got their dream trailer and it was a dream trailer everything you could ever need and lots oroom to boot! Especially for a skunk to spray.
Trista was covered she had walked in the door and alomst stepped on it. When skunks get scared they spray, and spray and you got it spray!!!! I'm in the business and I had never smelt anything that bad. Worse she had a Charity Fundraising Dance the following night!!"Don't Worry Hun, we'll fix it!!! I'll go and get Ron and Christine right now!!!! you don't have to cry, I'm sorry!!!!" Ned said as he ran down the street to wake up Ron and I to get the Skunk out his trailer and The Skunk Smell off of his wife.
By now the whole park reakked of Skunk Stink!!!
It's now 3:10am do you remember...
in the last story because they were haviong fun the time seemed to fly. Well this proves my point further cause 10 minuites in that sinky hell felt like an eternity.
Ron and I walk up to the scene to find:
Ned With a Glade Air Freshener Spraying down Trista while taking a drink of his beer. To rid to the skunk taste in his mouth , of course!!!! Anyother reason would be Wrong!
Trista looking tear stained and dishevelled mumbling to herself how she was going to"KILL AUCKMED, HOW CAN AUKMED EAT A SANDWICH, I NEEDED TO GET UP EARLY IN THE MORNING......NED..... if you spray me one more time with that f@#$in bottle I"m going to kick your ASS!!!!
"Wow, Trista....... Ron's going to go in and Net The Skunk She's already Sprayed everything. I can't believe that she would have any spray left. So everyone stand back and let Ron do his Job. Ron's job by the way was:
Removing Animals such as:
Skunks, |Possum, Raccoons, Bats, Mice, Rats, Groundhogs, Chipmunks, rabbits, pigeons and birds in Bathroom and Kitchen Vents, Roof Vents, Attic,Soffits, Chimenys, Eves, Under Deck, Porch, Front Steps, Shed, Out Building(s), Pool House, Add-A-Room or Addition.Under cement steps, porch, interlocking walkway or driveway.


So Ron Grabs his net and goes in. Well, I was wrong, she still had some juice left in her. Boy, oh.. Boy.... Did that skunk spray. Ron had to chase it around the inside of the trailer. The skunk ran
under the table between the chair legs and made Ron's net usless! seeing a napsack laying on the floor unzipped....
He went for it!!! Ron Grabs the napsack with one hand while he pulls the chair out from under the
tableleaving the skunk open............Ron opens the napsack.................... the skunk lifts her tail.............Ron swoops the skunk into the napsack and zipps it up ...........SPLATTTTTTTTTTT....... AS THE SPRAY HITS THE INSIDE OF THE BAG!!!
Like right out of ghostbusters Ron walks comes to the door of the trailer holding the napsack by the strap out in front of him. Everyone started backing up a clearing a path for ron to get to his truck so he could relocated the skunk to a bush where she would be a nuicence to anyone.
"CHRISTINE........ HAVE THE HELL AM I GOING TO GET RID OF THIS STINK OUT OF MY TRAILER?" Ned Whined he had Auckmed with him.
"NEVER MIND FOR F'IN TRAILER..... NED, MY FUNDRAISER IS TOMORROW WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO?????????"

WAYS THAT WORK TO GET TID OF SKUNK SMELL:

  • BLEACH OR AMONIA MIXED WITH SOME ULTRA LIQUID TIDE YOU CAN USE THIS COMBINATION TO CLEAN WALLS, FLOORS CEILINGS OF YOUR TRAILER, HOUSE, SHED, ETC.
  • ONCE SKUNK SMELL GETS INTO YOUR DUCTWORK YOUR SCREWED IT'LL GO THROUGHOUT YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE THROUGH YOUR FURNACE. SO USE A SPRAY BOTTLE OF THE ABOVE SOLUTION AND SPRAY DOWN YOUR REGISTERS, INTO YOUR DUCTS AND FANS, AND YOUR FURANCE SCREENS. YOU'LL REALLY NOTICA A DIFFERENCE. TAKE A CLOTH SOAKED IN THE SAME SOLUTION AND PLACE IN REGISTERS AND DUCTS. THEY WILL ABSORB THE SMELL.
  • IF YOU ARE BRAVE YOU CAN USE A LITTLE ULTRA TIDE IN THE SHOWER TO GET RID OF THE SKUNK SMELL FROM YOUR BODY.
  • YOU CAN ALSO USE A SKIN FREINDLY METHOD:
TOMATOES JUICE, BAKING SODA AND GINGERALE USE A SCRUBBY AND SCRUBB THE PASTE ON LET SIT OF 5 MINUITE.
REPEAT UNTIL SMELL IS GONE.
THIS METHOD IS SAFE TO USE ON DOGS AND CATS THAT HAVE BEEN SPRAYED BY A SKUNK
Ned, Trista, Tasha and Jackson went to Trista's fundraiser the next night smelling like a fresh spring breeze!!!! They had a great night everyhthing went off without a hitch. Trista raised lots of Money For Breast Cancer Research.
***Unfortunately, after being sprayed by the skunk and then almost drowned by a tragic beer spill, I am very sadden to inform you that Aukmed could not be revived.
Auckmed was creamated by Trista that same night.......
.......I guess she didn't want to see him suffer!
Ned has learned the moral of this story. Never play mind games with you wife. you might end up with a skunk in your trailer!!!!
Don't Let This Happen To You!!!!!

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***ALTHOUGH WE DO SPECIALISE IN COMPLETE BAT REMOVAL SERVICES WHICH WE HAVE SPENT 25 YEARS PERFECTING.WE HAVE ALSO BEEN REMOVING AND PROOFING FOR RACCOONS , SQUIRRELS, SKUNKS, MICE, RATS, POSSUM, BEES, BIRDS AND PIGEONS FOR JUST AS LONG.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Man Almost Gets His Penis Cut Off In a Castle!

Need a Bat Specialist?

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It's that time of year everything Starts Getting a little Creepy. It's getting Close to Halloween, Everyone seems to allow themselves to get freaked out this time of year. You start buying into all of the Psycho and Horror movies. It's Starting to get allot colder at night. Leaves falling from the trees. Wind Rustling them down the street. Add Rain, Thunder and lightening it paints quite and Erie Setting. This story will start out PG13 and will END VERY BADLY With Freddy and Jason on Friday the 13th. This is the first in the Series of Stories. Based on Tall Tales From Some Crazy, Funny People I call Family.

Mike and his Wife Rianne, Newlyweds where spending their first night in their new Castle. Mike had given Rianne the Most Beautiful Wedding and Honeymoon a woman could ask for. the Last year of their lives had just been the Greatest Blur. They Say when you're having fun time always seems to go faster.
This all came to be because,Mike finally convinced Rianne to go on Canadian Idol and She Rocked Canada with her Voice and won. With Mike as her Manager, they had just finished a year long tour. That had finished in Hawaii. Where Mike had flown all of their Friends in to surprise Rianne with a dream Wedding and Honeymoon. He reenacted The 'Hawaiian Wedding Song Scene from Blue Hawaii'
It was the most perfect wedding I ever saw. I had never seen them happier. It really was too bad what happened too them, when they got back to town. No one could have predicted it, that's for sure!
They were in a daze as Mike carried his New Wife over the Stone Threshold. In a hurry to continue the Honeymoon before all their kids were dropped of by Grandpa, Grandma and the Nannies. They dropped the Suitcases and raced through the Great Room up the Marble Staircase to the Master Suite. Giggling like school kids hurrying trying not to get caught by Mom and Dad.Mike Chases Rianne into the Master Bedroom. both of them leaving a trail of clothes like breadcrumbs all the way up the steps and hallways leading to their suite or rooms.
He Wrestles her onto the bed. Devouring her with every kiss. Rianne Rolls on top of Mike and begins reminding him why, he NEVER WANTED THE HONEYMOON TO END! ! ! ! oH mY GOD", THEIR BODIES MELTING TOGETHER, Becoming ONE. They new that they couldn't stay this way forever and their Adult Time was about to End. Till that time CAME they were going to savoir Every Last Minute of Their Adult Time They Had Left. But...
Just as things start Getting Warmed Up and Ready for action, the Damn Doorbell Gongs.
"I don't care, you can't make me answer the door, Ri!" Mike said " won't Do it, I want more Adult time!" He Demanded, as He rolled back with his arm behind his head, resting it upon the Pillow.
Rianne Jumped up off the Bed and grabbed her robe. Excited to show the kids their New Bedrooms and Toys that they had got to surprise them.
A year ago were staying with Rianne's Mom and Spending Summers at their Trailer they had at a Camp Ground, where their campsite was right on the Grand River. That was where he got the Elvis Hawaiian Wedding Song Idea. He Was Driving Limo and she was a Waitress.
Then, Like a Fairytale everything just started to happen for them. It was a great thing to watch it all happen and to be apart of it, it's just too bad the fairy Tale had to End....
Rianne, while looking too the world like the Complete Rock Star She Now Was, Was still really getting used to the whole Fame Game. She WAS NOT Going to become one of the drugged out,drunk, underwear forgetting skank. She was a Real Woman and a Terrific Mom. Which is probably why she rose to Fame so quick. She was living everyone's dream and doing it like a Rock'n Roll Princess. She was now Canadian Royalty.
"Oh My God, look at the SHOES!!!" Rianne Squealed With Delight As She Opened the Huge Double doors and walked (floated on air) into the closet, the exact closet, Bedroom and Sitting Rooms from Princess Diaries 2. The Entire Estate was built on land that Mike had picked out. 2oo of the Most Beautiful Acres of Land Canada has to offer. A 7000 square foot Scaled down Replica of the Castle and Estate. Here's the link to show you her closet.

And yet, as she went through all of the beautiful racks of Silk Shirts, Shimmering Evening Gowns and all of the Finest Pieces of Jewelry and |Accessories you could imagine. She's looking like an Innocent little kid in a candy store, not know which piece to pick first.
Mike laughed as he peaked in the closet to find bent over with a huge Black Boa wrapped around her shoulders. Covered from head to toe in Gold and Diamonds trying on a pair of Jimmy Chou's. But she still had her frumpy old robe on. She looked up at him. Tousles of Brunette Locks falling down surrounding her face. While a Diamond studded Ti era teetering on top of her head Gucci Sun Glasses just about falling off of her nose. She was quite a site. Looking at her, so happy and vibrant. Reminded him again why he loved her so much.
His laugh startled her "humph" She fell backwards into a Pile of Furs she had just finished trying on. She looked up at Mike with the Ti era still teetering and blew a wisp of hair out of her face. Mike cracked up laughing. The Ti erra finally fell and knocked the Gucci Glasses off her nose. She laughed at the whole situation as she ever so coolly caught both Ti erra and Sunglasses one in each hand.
Both of them still laughing, Mike helped Rianne to her feet. "Now Hurry up and get some real clothes on and I'll keep the kids busy in the kitchen till you come down, hurry up!!!" Just as he was ready to let go she grabs him by the collar of his T-Shirt and pulls him back into the furs with her. She still having by the collar grabs his head with her other hand and Rings his lips to hers. She plants a toes curling kiss on him. Which makes Mike let out a moan of satisfaction. As she finishes with a little nibble on his lip. "Jesus Rianne I can't go meet the kids with a boner! Save it for Later!"

He had each of the 8Towers to hold a Suite of bedrooms Their Master Suite and Similar Fantasy Prince and Princess Bedrooms with Nanny Suites were made for Penelope 8, Braden 4 and Shadie 3 Bedrooms designed for each of the kids. But for now Shadie would be rooming with Penelope. With the Nanny Staying in between their suites and Braden's. When Mike thought up this design he really liked the idea of stone walls, towers and Nanny Suites on the other side of the Castle from the Master Suite. To him It was a dream house come true. Both them were so excited to see the Kids and show them the Castle.
Mike now realising that their underwear is strewn all over the place starts running down the hall. Shoving underwear into Fancy Priceless Vases. As He heads down the stairs he spots One of Rianne's sexy lace stockings draped on the Banister. Muttering " You couldn't have rang that damn Gong ten minutes later. Oh, Well Honeymoon's over, back to reality."
He was having difficulty getting the silk stocking into his jeans pockets. "Shit these stockings feel nice, man she's not even in the room and I'm getting...." He's Walking and Muttering. Just as he gets to the Front of the Great Room where the front Entrance is, the Iron Door bursts open! "AH-H-H" They run through the doorway and connect with Mike and push him down onto the Marble Floor!!!Everyone Goes Sliding. Thud, "Holy Sh......,"
Mike exclaimed just as they started smothering him. Mike Stopped Struggling, they let him up for Air!!! They get off of him and stood up allowing Mike to get up and catch his breath. "Hi STEEEEEVE"Penelope, Shadie, and Braden Screamed with delight. "Mike DO WE LIVE HERE NOW?"Brian Asked. "Do we really live in Our Own Castle?" Asked Shadie. "Do We Have Horses?" Asked Penelope , she really wanted her own pony." Hi Kids, How was just trip to Grandma's House?" "Let's Go to the Kitchen and make Mom some Welcome Home Milk Shakes and Grama a Hot Toddy I'm sure she probably needs one by now!" Mike says as he looks at Rianne's Mom Karen and they both let out a chuckle as they start walking through the castle to the Kitchen. Karen, had had Rianne young. She might have been a Grama but she sure didn't look like one, if you know what I mean. She looked great, even for having three kids for a week. I'm sure the Nanny had something to do with the lack of frown lines on her face.
Although Mike Had Flown The Whole Family To Hawaii for the Wedding he flew the kids, nannies and grandma home a week early, so that they could have their Beloved Adult Time. The kids were from Rianne's previous marriage. They had always had Mike there for them to depend on. Mike had a teenage son named Devon. Mike had made a Special Suite for him. Because of the World Tour Mike hired two nannies one male Ken to tutor and take care of Brian and Emily to take care of Penelope and Shadie. Mike would fly the kids on the weekends to where ever they were. It was great for the kids. It seemed like they were always on this Magical Adventure and Mom and Mike were flying the Plane Living the Dream, Castle and ALL.
Rianne after putting away all of the pretty bobbles, had put some "real clothes" on and met up with everyone sitting outside in the Elegant Court Yard sipping on their Chocolate Milkshakes and Eating Some of Rianne's homemade Chocolate Delights that she had the Chef make for the kid's homecoming. To her it was the prefect picture. Mike had truly out done himself.
It took the rest of the day to show the kids all of the Estate and Surprises. The day ended with a glorious dinner and decadent desert that Chef Armand had created Especially for that night. With the Grand Reveal of Each of the Children's Suites. the Children were SO ecstatic, it would take too long to write into words. Lets just say they were VERY...VERY...VERY....PLEASED! They each had their own individual spaces geared directly to each of them.
"They're never going to leave their rooms!" Rianne laughed as she closed Shadie's Door. "I didn't think Shadie Would Sleep in that Big Room By Her Self."
"That's what the nanny is there for Ri. Now where were we? Before we were interrupted?" Mike Whispered As He stepped into the room behind her and shut the door.

AND ADULT TIME WAS RESTORED IN THE MASTER SUITE!!!!

Mike was floating in air just like in a Disney movie. You know, where Imaginary Hummingbirds are hovering around him. While he whistles a tune, skipping down the stairs into the Great Room. Where he is surrounded with all of the animals from that scene in snow white. Where Bambi walks up to him. Just as he goes to pet him the butterfly lands on Bambi's nose and......"whhhhoooop uuuhewups, humph!!!" Fantasy OVER, As Mike was having his God Fantasy, Patting himself on the back for what a truly unbelievable feet he had pulled off in just one year. He didn't see the Banana Peel on the Floor at the bottom of the staircase."What the Heck was TH HAT?"
"Margarette! Margarette! ( Margarette was the housekeeper her husband Mario took Managed the Grounds and Barns.) What in the Hell is a Banana Peel Doing At The Bottom Of The Stairs?" He was more Flabbergasted and Stunned. Probably from the knock he got on the back of his head when he landed and hit the last marble step."What the heck am I paying everyone for if I'm going to get killed by a Banana?" He Blustered. He continues to mumble as he walks toward the swinging door leading to the kitchen" Pay all these people, what now, I got to make my own coffee?" Mike goes to push the swinging door open....
It's not moving, he pushes on the door again."What the heck?" "This is a swinging door, It worked last night, maybe it's stuck!" He says as he scratches his head, moving back to look at the door. He moves back farther and decides he's going to give it a running push.
While in the kitchen Margarette has been trying to get the door open to find out what Mr. Mike is yelling about. She decides to open the door. Just then the Chef comes out of the pantry with a bag of flour to make pancakes for the kids for breakfast.
Mike starts his run at the door, Margarette opens the door just as Mike's about to make contact. Causing him to fly through the doorway. Skidding across the marble floor. while still holding the Dreaded Banana Peel in his hand. Flies SMACK into Chef and the 10lb bag of flour, which explodes all over everyone and everything. Poor Margarette is still holding the door looking at chef and Mr. Mike sprawled out on the marble floor both covered in flour. When Rianne and the kids come buzzing in.
She stops dead when she sees the mess, grabs her Iphone and snaps a picture. Bamm posts it to Facebook as she cracks up laughing. "Mike, Why are you holding a rotten Banana Peel?....Do I even want to ask about the Flour?" She turns to Margarette, who is frozen in position, still holding the door."Margarette?... Are You O.k.?" Margarette Just shakes her head and grabs a broom and starts laughing, and talking gibberish in Spanish" Laos moi their all loco!!!!"she chuckles.
Just then a mouse runs across the floor right in front of her broom, she screams"MMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She jumps like the Million Dollar Woman onto the Island, causing a bowl of apples to go smash down and roll everywhere. The broom goes flying into the Pot Rack Causing it to come crashing down around her. Somehow grabbing a Cast Iron Frying Pan as the Rack drops, still hanging onto the broom in the other.Waving the Frying pan and broom at the spot where she thinks she saw it go. Screaming "Mouse, Mr. Mike MOUSE. OVER THERE GET IT IT WENT IN THE PANTRY!!!!!" Scaring the heck right out of the kids.
Chef And Mr. Mike were scrambling to get up off the floor, still caked with flour. They get up wiping the flour from their eyes. Mr. Mike puts his hand up just in time to catch the broom Ring flung at his head. Chef grabs a huge Machete from the Knife bar on the wall. Margarette still waving the frying pan and screaming like a banshee!
The Nannies show up and Rianne tell them to get the kids outside. Crash eggs go flying out of the pantry. Mike yells" What the hell are you thinking, Chef. REALLY, REALLY? EGGS?.... YOUR TRYING TO KILL THE MOUSE WITH EGGS?..... WHERE ARE YOU FROM........ USE THE KNIFE!!!!!!" "I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE ARE MICE IN MY KITCHEN, MAR DE IMPOSSIBLE!!!" Chef bellowed in his snooty french accent."Oh SHIITE THERE IT IS, KILL IT, KILL IT NOW GO ON!!!MONSIEUR MikeN!!!"...."ARRRMAAANND YOU HAVE THE BIG KNIFE!!!! YOU KILL IT....... IT'S OVER THERE!!!!" Mike SCREAMED!
Mike swats at the mouse with the broom just as Chef Armand swings his machete. Mike misses the mouse with the broom but feels the knife blade slice through the broom stick and almost his private stick. Which after he screamed" Watch what your f*$#ing doing man, you almost chopped my d*$k off!!!!"Armand Replied" Well..... YOU TOLD ME TO KILL IT!!!!"
"WELL, YOU Didn't , Kill IT, DID YOU?" He Growled Back Nose to Nose with him in the middle of the pantry!"You almost Killed Little Mike!!!!" Mike ranted at Chef. Raising his hand making it into a fist, forgetting that somehow he was still hanging onto the Dirty Rotten Banana Peel. that was now dripping through his shaking fist flinging Banana muck into Chef Armand's face.
Chef Armand Still sporting a cast Iron Frying pan in one hand and a huge Machete in the other. Goes to swing the Frying Pan in Mr. Mike's Direction.
SQUEAK ,SQUEAK AND THE MOUSE B LINES IT RIGHT BETWEEN THEIR FEET.
Rianne calmly opens the outside door and the Mouse runs out! She slams the door shut and spins around. Hands on hips, SHE STARTS READING OUT THE RIOT ACT!!!" Now, Was that SO HARD?... GENTLEMEN?...Margarette Get down off... no wait! Mike Armand Get Over Here And Help Margarette Down, NOW PLEASE!!!"
"Margaret, Armand get some help in here and get this mess cleaned up, NOW!!!"..."Mike WHY ARE YOU HOLDING THAT.....DIRTY........ROTTEN.......BANANA PEEL?"............."WHY ARE YOU AND ARMAND COVERED IN FLOUR?....................WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

" HUN..... YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT IF I TOLD YOU!!!!"
and he proceeds to tell her what happened as they make their way up to their Master Suite to Shower off the Flour and Banana. Feeling All Refreshed and ready to attempt some more Adult Time with Ri. He steps out of his personal shower inside his change rooms. Towel rapped around his waste, towel drying his hair as he walked into his clothes closet to pick out something to wear.
he still had the towel over his head when he heard something whoosh past his head" what the.." He Yells just as he wisps the towel down to come face to face with a bat getting ready to dive bomb his head!!! "BBBBBBAAAAAAATTTTTTTT.......... Ri..... BAT, BAT Ri!!!!!" He Screams as he throw the towel at the Bat and runs back into the Master Bedroom looking for Ri. "Ri, Ri Where the hell are you? BAT, BAT BIIIIIIIIGGGGG BAT!!!!!! BIG BAT IN CLOSET!!!!!
*****SEE THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH BIG HUGE CASTLES IT TAKES FOREVER TO FIND ANYONE IN IT!!!!!!!
Rianne strolls back into the Master bedroom lookin smokin hot. So hot at that point Mike's other towel falls off. Rianne purrs into his ear. "Wow MORE ADULT TIME ALREADY?" Mike INSTANTLY FORGETTING ABOUT THE BAT" YEAH Adult Time......SHIT.......NO...........NOO ADULT TIME!!!! Not right now anyway! How are you with Bats?" Mike asked, really pissed at this Bat for wreaking his alone time with his New Ride.
"What Do You Mean, How Am I With Bats?"..."What the Hell is That supposed to mean?" She asked in disbelief. " There's a BAT in MY closet!!!!"..... "That's What I Mean!!!!.... What Do We Do?" He Repeated. "We Need to call a guy." She replied. " What kind of guy do you call for a Bat In your Closet?" He Asked Sarcastically, " What a Bat Removal Guy?" he Asked still with sarcasm. Rianne walked to the night stand pulled out the yellow pages and started looking. and then they Remembered their long time Friend, Ron Had a Wild Animal Removal Business. Ri told Mike to get Ron and his crew out there NOW, AND GET RID OF ALL OF THESE ANIMALS WANDERING AROUND HER CASTLE!!!!
AND
That is how I came to know this story. I'm Ron's Wife, Christine and this is where we enter the story.

Ron comes in and Grabs his sons which work with and tells me "Let's go, come on we got to go now!!!".... "Mike just called...... I don't know he wasn't making much sense. Something about Mice, Rotten Bananas, His Broom Stick getting sliced off by chef Armand . Which I Think might be a metaphor for something else!!!" "WHAT?" I asked" I Don't know I told you!!! I could barely understand him!!!! something Else about a Bat attacking him and dive bombing at his head!!! We'll see when we get there!!!" So we rushed over, we had been invited to stay as long as we needed to make Mike and Rianne's Castle Animal Free.
Mike called again just before we got there, "Ron!!!! where the hell are you man, I Need you here now, Ri's Freakin out!!!" mean while it was really Mike having the hairy fit. Finally Ron and Crew Arrives to a frantic castle, kids running all over the courtyards being chased by nannies. Chef, Margarette and the rest of the house staff were still busy cleaning up after the Mousecapade in the kitchen. Mike tells the guard to let Ron's truck in and Meets us in the Courtyard. Mike took the next half hour with help from Rianne to tell Ron very graphically with much animation described what had happened. Even through the entire event from slipping on the stairs, to the jammed door to the mouse in the pantry, to the bat dive bombing him in his closet it only took 15 minutes to happen and an hour for Ron to get there. The way he told it you would have though he'd been held hostage for days by these tiny little creatures!!!!
Ron Goes to Mike's Clothes Closet to see if the Bat is still there. Since Mike forgot to shut the door before he ran screaming from the room. Because Mike has the his and hers bathrooms built into the his and hers suites adjoining the master bedroom. Extra Exhaust Venting and Fans were installed top remove moisture. But allowing BATS FULL ACCESS TO his clothes closet and the rest of the Castle.
Ron Hands Mike the following information: The first is one How Bats Can enter your house" Or in Your Case Mike, It's how Bats Enter your Castle." Ron Said giving a little laugh at how worked up Mike was. But in all fairness to Mike, he did have a bad morning!


We were there for quite a while:
Sealing , Meshing and Repairing everything necessary to make the Castle and Estate Bat, Raccoon, Squirrel Skunk, Possum, Chipmunk, Groundhog, Mouse, Rat, Mole, Rabbit, Bird in Vents, Pigeons Roosting on the Castle Peeks, and Snake Free from the following Areas:

Attic, Louvre,Bathroom, Kitchen, Roof Vents, Soffit, Gables, Eves, Eves Trough Down Spout, Under Siding, In/On/Nesting Behind My Business Sign and/or Entrance Way/Awning and Roof Peaks..





  • Under my Deck, Porch, Front Steps, Shed, Out Building(s), Pool House, Add-A-Room or Addition.
  • under my cement steps, porch, interlocking walkway or driveway.
  • In/ Under and around Pools, under pool liner and pumps and Heaters.
  • Air Conditioning and Heating Units, Radiators, Registers, Duct Work.


  • This is what Ron found after doing a thorough inspection of the Castle. He came to the following conclusions:
    • There were Bats roosting in Between the Roof and Ceiling Using the Bathroom vents as entry points on top of the normal ones listed on the bat entry points page.
    • There were mice throughout the castle. They had probably gained entry while the castle was being built and multiplied from there.
    • and the Great Mystery as to how the Banana Peel, The thing that started this whole whoo ha was dropped by the Raccoon on his way back from the kitchen to the Medieval Craved Stone Fire Place into a fireplace ruff in 2 floors up.
    Which resulted in Ron giving Steve more information on the Following:
    How Do I Know If I Have Raccoon(s) in My Chimney? How Do I Get Raccoon(s) Out Of My Chimney? Are There Baby Raccoons In My Chimney? Can The Raccoons Open The Flu And Get Into My House? Why Can't I just Set A Fire and Smoke The Raccoons Out?



    • Upon inspection of the ground discovered more raccoons and a family of Skunks under the pool house.
    1. The first thing Ron did was net the Bat in Steve's Clothes Closet
    2. Ron live trapped and Removed the skunks and relocated them to a different part of the Estate where there couldn't hurt anything.
    3. While he got the Bat Crew on to completely Animal Proofing The Castle
    4. ONE-WAY-DOORS ON THE CHIMNEY, ONE ON EACH OF THE BATHROOM VENTS, AND A GOOD EXIT HOLE THEY FOUND, AS WELL AS ONE TO LET THE MICE OUT. YOU DON'T WANT THEM DYING IN THE WALLS AND YOU DON'T WANT THEM BEING ABLE TO GET BACK IN!!!!
    5. Once Ron was sure that everything ALL ANIMALS HAVE LEFT THE CASTLE. He Removed the ALL OF THE ONE-WAY-DOORS.
    6. He then disinfected the entire Castle, only because the Raccoon was actually walking around. We didn't want any Males come to courting, thus the disinfection.
    7. We removed ALL CONTAMINATED INSULATION AND MATERIALS.
    8. We Capped the chimneys and ALL vents with two kind of mesh. One Too prevent the larger Animals like Raccoons and Squirrels. The smaller mesh to prevent Mice, Rats and Bats from ever getting back into your home again.
    You know what I mean, I'm sure that your home is your castle too.
    So if you are hearing any kind of noises running, chewing scratching, you probably have something in your house. You need to take care of it now before your Castle is turned into a hovel!!!!!
    The Moral of this story is......
    When you have property of anyh kind large or small. They should ALL be Animal Proofed. Animals don't care how much money yhou have they just want your garbage and a roof over their head!!!!
    You'll be happy to know:

    Mike, Rianne, Devon, Penelope, Brian, Shadie, The Nannies, Margarette and her Husband Mario and The Chef Armand. Are Now living in their Castle Happilly Ever After,
    Animal Free thanks to:


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    Hookup and drop your links on any of my city hashtags let's do some networking
    Cheers
    Ohura <3